CHEATING - When infidelity, swinging, honesty, betrayal, love, jealousy and extramarital sex take on on new meaning.

 Written on 29.07.09 – Published on 03.08.09
Definition of Cheating?

As a firm believer in the Lifestyle, this question of “cheating” does pose many variations in reaction, comfort and belief levels, understanding, acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, dominance and ultimately betrayal and lies.
The Lifestyle that I am referring to would be “Swinging”….
“Here we go again”, you may be thinking, “another horny chap trying to justify fucking around, whether single or married”.
If you are looking purely the masculine, dickhead point of view then I might be inclined to agree with you, however,…. Yes the proverbial, however, one needs to look at it from each perspective. Masculine and feminine and when you do this then that the previous statement holds no water…all of which I will attempt to look at and will further elaborate;

Basically what is cheating?
If you want to know the exact meaning, look it up in your own dictionary, but basically cheating is fraud, deception, swindling, fixing, hoaxing, falsification… it is really a form of lying and it is interesting that in the Chambers 20th Centaury (new edition) dictionary, in reference to the word cheat, although now obsolete meaning, may have some relevance here; forfeit; a piece of plunder; a stolen thing are all considered dead in meaning, yet if you consider the consequences and the results of what cheating can do, can you really discount the meaning of a “stolen thing”? Would this not have reference to stolen affection whether physical or emotional? What about forfeit? Well would in not be logical to assume that one would be losing something… thus forfeit is an accurate description? To say “I have been forfeited by love”¸ would not only be poetic, but will also be accurate don’t you think? How about a piece of Plunder?? Oh come on… this has so many funny references… imagine; after nailing his best friends wife and enjoying all the sneaking around and the raw sexual deceptive excitement…Finally ending up with a lost friend, a best one at that and of course the prize… the one he was fucking and giving attention to his ex-best friend’s soon to be ex-wife. He has now landed up with the “plunder” that could in inevitably end up doing the same to him with his friends…. Funny plunder hey?…

So by cheating on your partner, you are acting in a fraudulent manner, as not only do you have to make up a story as to where you were, but then you have to fabricate times, people, scenarios, sometimes coercing others to assist and participate in your deception, placing them in uncomfortable positions when and if confronted.
Cheating is usually done without your partners knowledge and is usually accompanied by sneaking around, expenses such as hotel(if needed) and jewellery if you are so inclined, elaborate planning and manipulation… all usually ending up in heartache for at least one person.

Why Cheat? Has your partner not touched you in the places that you want them to… which leads to unsatisfied frustration and nights alone with Mr Fidget or Palmala Handerson ? Did you ask or show them your needs? Is your libido so high you cannot have just one partner? Is it the excitement you crave? Is it someone of the same sex you want?
Personally, I feel that cheating is a catch 22 situation; Not saying it is good, please don’t misconstrue, but I am saying, I understand why people do it, but don’t understand how they can willingly do something like that and purposely hurt their partner… That I will not understand.

You see. I am a firm believer in love and that love can conquer all. One of my all time most favourite songs is Moulin Rouge’s “Elephant Melody” sung by Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman…. And as for the Movies; the ones that moved me the most, in reference to love and the feelings I believe in are, The Notebook and of course Moulin Rouge.
So, as you can see, I firmly believe in love and that if you love your partner enough or visa versa you will do literally anything for them, but also remembering that if you love them the way you should and expect the same you would not put them in a situation that would compromise them and their integrity. You would not dream of making them unhappy or uncomfortable. Right??

I came from a relationship that right up till the very end the world and I thought was a near perfect fairytale. But I found out after we parted (without explanation) that she had been fucking around so much and boasting about it… Oh My GOD!! And on our 10th Wedding anniversary… she was buzzing around like a queen bee and then telling everyone about her conquests, all without my knowledge.
Why am I mention this, other than wanting the,”ag shame”?
No seriously, I am not seeking nuttin’, but want to point out that the stupid cow fucked the world behind my back when she could have done it in front of me and she knew from the start how I was…. But NO she had to lie and betray me… she had to deceive me for her plunder….. MONEY…..

Argh!! I don’t get it….

Ok Back to the point at hand… The argument in cheating and when it is ok is when it is in the swinging environment… but when you enter the frame of mind I am referring to, the word cheating has absolutely no place…
For if a couple who love each other want to experiment sexually, which by all standards is an expectable practice isn’t it? Well they chose to include other partners and in doing so felt that it brought them closer together. Neither partner participated if the other was uncomfortable. Each was considerate towards the other. This was about their sexually experimentation for THEIR relationship together not finding a fuck. They were honest and open and understood, loved unconditionally. They trusted each other and when they participated, they did it with all their energy and enthusiasm, yet were so in love.
If they were devoted Christians or not, would the fact that they express themselves sexually in this manner disqualify them to be treated like any other person that may not. Are they breaking any of God’s laws?... I think not. But do you?
Hmmm !! So are they in actuality being adulterous on one another?
Have a look at the synonyms; disloyal, false, untrue, two-timing, treacherous, traitorous, faithless and double crossing. Not to mention the dictionary says, again interestingly so (or maybe some over educated old fart decided to sound more intelligent that he ort to), “applied opprobriously”. **What the F@*K**.. Opprobrious literally means the “imputation of shameful conduct, insulting, abusive, infamous, and disgraceful”; it also mentions, “anything bringing reproach”.
Do you see any resemblance in the explanation to the meaning of a rather broad word like adultery? No?
Thus my argument about a loving marriage that has sex outside the marriage, but within the marriage bed together and with full consent is no less unusual as a relationship, Christian or not, that do not participate such activities.

My point is, why the hell would you want to purposely hurt someone you love by cheating on them. If you loved them you would not do that. If you wanted someone else or something else, tell your partner. If they are game, then you have a new element in your relationship. But if they are not, then you have an issue that you will have to deal with on a separate level.
For if you are desiring other people sexually and you partner is not able to bring themselves to share, you will have to either get it out of your head and suppress the urges or move on….
Don’t hurt you partner by cheating on them… it is not worth all the hurt and agony that accompanies the shit…. Ask all the ones who have been cheated on.
.However, before approaching you partner about doing something as intimate as sex with a stranger, you need to examine your relationship and the strength thereof. How much trust and honesty is there? Will it be something you will enjoy together… are either of you jealous?…. (BIG one daddy’o)….Jealousy is a wasted emotion that is more destructive that ever…
This lifestyle is not for every one, but may be a marriage saver as perhaps instead of wanting and having another person through deceit and lies you possibly could share.
But then again, if you have a wandering eye,…. Can YOU be faithful?? Be honest with yourself at least… can you trust yourself even in a weakened, vulnerable and perhaps alcohol or drug induced state? Can you say no?

Before you do anything, always remember the consequences are far greater than the fleeting orgasm. It takes ages to build a life and then, in an instant, throwing it away for a fuck.
Honest and open communication will NEVER fail… Love above all will conquer and will triumph, even if you partner is hornier than you can handle… (love them enough to accommodate – with rules - you will win in the end)
Just DON’T CHEAT!!!! That’s fuck up dude!

 ...Teaser.

.....But here I am tearing up inside with emotions blurring my vision and not in tears but in the speed that my thoughts are rushing through my brain. I can’t seem to keep up and my heart rate is increased as I feel the finality of the act is beyond my control.
Such a loss of many years and such a wake up call. .....